World’s Shortest Books

17 12 2009

I don’t know if the people read their email messages before they forward it on to me, but every so often I get passed on a “funny” email that is especially conservatively partisan/racist.  For example I received one titled “The World’s Shortest Books” that contained these comedic gems:

NEGROS I’VE MET WHILE YACHTING By Tiger Woods

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY By Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan.
Illustrated by Michael Moore

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL By Hillary Clinton

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY By Bill Clinton

You get the idea.  I was sufficiently annoyed so I replied with my own list of World’s Shortest Books that were egregiously omitted from the original list.

HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL PRESIDENT (IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM)
By George W. Bush

HUNTING AND GUN SAFETY
By Dick Cheney

MILITARY PLANNING (AND HOW NOT TO CHERRY PICK INTELLIGENCE TO FIT YOUR PREDETERMINED NARRATIVE)
By Donald Rumsfeld

PRESERVING THE CONSTITUTION AND PERSONAL PRIVACY RIGHTS
By Alberto Gonzales

PUBLIC BATHROOM ETIQUETTE
By Larry Craig

HURRICANE RECOVERY AND DISASTER MANAGEMENT
By Micheal “Brownie” Brown

APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR AROUND CONGRESSIONAL PAGES (OR HOW NOT TO RAPE YOUNG BOYS)
By Mark Foley

FAMILY VALUES (OR HOW TO AVOID BEING CAUGHT WEARING DIAPERS WITH A D.C. MADAM)
By David Vitter

If you have any others I might have missed please feel free to add them to the list in the comments section.

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Then And Now

7 09 2009

As usual TMW hits it on the head.





Us And Them

31 08 2009

A truly inspired piece of work by Driftglass and Joe Max. Watch and just wonder why all the teabaggers didn’t get upset before, yet now they’re shouting about how the gummint is taking over their Medicare. So many idiots being manipulated by Republicans and insurance companies that have no interest whatsoever in really helping solve the problems real people face.





The Nexus of Politics and Terror Confirmed

23 08 2009

I’m only surprised Tom Ridge finally admitted that he and the Bush administration manipulated the terror alert level for completely cynical political reasons. Oh wait, I take that back.  Actually I would have been surprised if he had stopped himself and instead blown the whistle on these orders when he was told to do it.  No, now he fesses up only because he has hopes of making some money off his 4 year late “apology”.  Thanks Tom, but you’re too late to pretend to be honorable.

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Changing Times And The Presidential Medal Of Freedom

12 08 2009

Alas, back in the reign of George Bush, he awarded the coveted Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2004.  Did he give it to a scientist or other great intellectual thinker?  No.  To someone who saved lives or helped find a cure for a horrible disease?  No.  To anyone of admirable irreproachable honor and integrity?  Fuck no.  He gave it to former CIA Director George J. Tenet, former Iraq administrator L. Paul Bremer III and retired Gen. Tommy Franks…because they were some of the leading douche bags that made his contemptibly ill conceived and criminally ineptly executed war in Iraq possible.

Steven Hawking could kick your ass with his mind

Steven Hawking could kick your ass with his mind

Compare, if you will, to the awarding of the same medal today by President Obama.  Among others this president gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to world class theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking.  Archbishop Desmond Tutu received a medal.  Geneticist Janet Davison Rowley, whose studies of chromosome abnormalities in human leukemia and lymphoma have led to dramatically improved survival rates for previously incurable cancers, was honored.  Also receiving a medal was economist Muhammad Yunus who founded the Grameen Bank in Bangladesh in 1983 to provide microloans to the poor.

Just a little different isn’t it?  It’s kinda nice to see someone with a little integrity in the White House again isn’t it?





Grandma Palin vs. David Letterman

12 06 2009

Of course by now you know about that scamp David Letterman making jokes about a Palin girl getting “knocked up” by a player at a Yankees game. Obviously he was referring to 18-year-old Bristol Palin, the famously unwed mother who swears abstinence works…or at least it did until her boyfriend tricked her into playing “Hide Obama in the Cave”…again.

Isn’t that cute, she got her Dad’s nose and her Mom’s brains.

Of course Grandma Palin thinks she sees some political advantage by pretending Letterman was talking about her 14 year old saying she thought it was ”a degrading comment about a young woman. And I would hope that people would start really rising up and not accepting this.”

I get a special kind of headache reading poor grammar like that.  It’s almost as though Dubaya was still president.Palin Newser

Palin went on pretending she understood the actual target of the joke saying ”it’s no wonder girls have such low self-esteem in America when a comedian can make a remark like this.”

You know, girls could also have low self esteem because a beauty pageant runner up sporting 4th grade logic and 3rd grade grammar skills was considered the best person the Republicans could find to run for vice president.

So in one deft move Grandma Palin not only pretends baby momma Bristol was not the obvious subject of the joke, but then goes on to needlessly embarrass 14 year old Willow who is only guilty of being born into a family of hypocrites and craven opportunists.   It is a truly impressive display of unchecked ambition when someone is willing to throw her own little girl under the bus for some cheap, short term, political points.

I can see the 2012 bumper stickers now.  “Sarah Palin…I’ll screw over anyone for this job”





Fox Eats Its Own

16 03 2009

Shepard Smith of Fox News mocks the crap out of Princess Douchenozzle Glenn Beck.  It’s kinda awesome.  Shepard has been a singular voice of average sanity on Fox.  I’m pretty sure MSNBC has a desk all warmed up for him if he manages to get himself fired.  I’m just saying.