The Difference Between AIG and GM

16 03 2009

GM and the UAW were forced to renegotiate contracts, but AIG is bound by the letter of the law to pay bonuses to the geniuses who got us in this mess.  To quote Jon Stewart…”FUCK YOU!”

Washington and the nation are enraged that AIG is paying millions in bonuses to retain financial wizards that sold insurance on mortgage backed securities with few assets to back up their promises.

AIG is telling us that it must pay those bonuses, because they are required by employment contracts necessary to retain its financial engineers.

Treasury Secretary Geithner has expressed outrage. Instead, he should be embarrassed.

When the Bush White House agreed to bail out General Motors and Chrysler, it required those companies to renegotiate their labor contracts—that’s right contracts—and they are doing just that to keep their federal largess.

The Obama Treasury, headed by Tim Geithner, is forcing the terms of that deal on the United Autoworkers.

Why did Secretaries Paulson and Geithner not require the same at AIG? Remember Geithner was president of the New York Federal Reserve Bank and a key player when financial giants like Citigroup and AIG were being bailed with the taxpayers’ cash. Those bailouts continue, with easy terms for the bankers and their contracts, on Geithner’s watch.

The threat was the same with AIG and GM. If either shut down, the economy would plummet into chaos and depression we were told.

So Mr. Geithner, instead of being outraged at AIG’s last revelations, perhaps you can explain to all of us why a UAW worker earning $29 dollars an hour must give back wages and benefits to keep their company alive, while the architects of the biggest financial disaster in history get to keep their gold plated contracts.

Mr. Geithner, we are waiting for your answer.

The all new Gitmo weight room is the only bonus AIG executives deserve

The all new Gitmo weight room is the only bonus AIG executives deserve


Response To Republican Big Ideas

25 02 2009

Yeah, I think you can say some were underwhelmed.

If I Didn’t Have You

10 02 2009

Tim Minchin, he makes it all sound so simple.

Yes Pecan!

10 02 2009

(From an email going around)

Ben & Jerry created the “Yes Pecan!” ice cream flavor for Obama.

For George W. they asked for suggestions from the public. Here are some of their favorite responses:

  • Grape Depression
  • The Housing Crunch
  • Abu Grape
  • Cluster Fudge
  • Nut’n Accomplished
  • Good Riddance You Lousy Motherfucker… Swirl
  • Iraqi Road
  • Chock ‘n Awe
  • WireTapioca
  • Impeach Cobbler
  • Guantanmallow
  • imPeachmint
  • Heck of a Job, Brownie!
  • Neocon Politan
  • Rocky Road to Fascism
  • The Reese’s-cession
  • Cookie D’oh!
  • Nougalar Proliferation
  • Death by Chocolate… and Torture
  • Freedom Vanilla Ice Cream
  • Chocolate Chip On My Shoulder
  • Credit Crunch
  • Mission Pecanplished
  • Country Pumpkin
  • Chunky Monkey in Chief
  • WMDelicious
  • Chocolate Chimp
  • Bloody Sundae
  • Caramel Preemptive Stripe
  • I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands… with nuts

I Want To Punch The Economy In The Face!

3 02 2009

Ah fuck it, let’s watch some talking babies and regroup tomorrow.

Contrasting Images

30 01 2009

A big hat tip to Feministe for this original post.  I’m blown away.

Two of the most important women’s-rights-related bill-signings in the past few years.

The Partial Birth Abortion Ban Act of 2003:

And the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2009:

Any Questions?

Texas Fights To Retain Title “Most Ignorant State In America”

22 01 2009

One day after President Bush left office, Texas realized that its claim on being the preeminent source of “teh stupid” for America was in jeopardy. Luckily they had a plan to make sure that anytime people the world over thought of Texas they would naturally think of inbred religious dullards like their favorite native son* George Bush.

Today it was reported in the NY Times that the Texas State Board of Education, with the strong support of Republican Governor Rick Perry, is once again debating the relative merits of evolution versus the Biblical version of creation. Textbook publishers are being forced by the board to include phrases that sow artificial doubt about the scientific validity of evolution and implicitly lend support for the Biblical version of creation.

You just know that when the Texas chairman of the board of education is a dentist who thinks that the Earth is only a few thousand years old that Texas has a pretty strong chance of retaining the title.

Scientific obfuscation and Biblical nonsense expert Stephen C. Meyer of the Discovery Institute disingenuously ignores the 150 years worth of accumulative corroborating evidence that has confirmed Evolution and insists that he’s only advocating the promotion of “dissenting opinions”. This blatant lie of course caused God to clap thunder outside as soon as the words were uttered, but Mr. Meyer was too impressed with the scent of his own bullshit to notice.

With perfect timing a mechanical engineer from Houston then stepped up, with his teenage son drooling by his side, and said (and I’m not making this up) “Textbooks today treat [Evolution] as more than a theory, even though its evidence has been found to be stained with half-truths, deception and hoaxes. Darwinian evolution is not a proven fact.”

And with that Texas noticeably relaxed knowing that their reputation was secure and that regardless how the textbook challenge was resolved the world would always view them as the most ignorant fucksticks in America.

* Of course Bush isn’t really from Texas but they’re not letting that inconvenient fact get in the way of a good yarn. If you choose to mention this fact to a Texan please be sure that he is already wearing his helmet.