The Literal Story Of Creation

8 03 2010

To all you well read Bible literalists out there, please feel free to comment on the mistakes in this video. I certainly wouldn’t want to get the story wrong you know.

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5 responses

8 03 2010
Tabbie

Such is the logic of an all-knowing, omnipresent, all-powerful god. Create some innocent, lonely, emotional, uneducated creatures, tempt them into a state of eternal damnation and blame them for their behavior, and then demand of them neverending penance and sacrifice in order to get themselves restored to a nonfulfilling one-sided relationship with a silent invisible god and to avoid everlasting torture at his loving hand.

It’s like offering a brightly colored piece of candy to a baby and then cuttng off his hand when he reaches out and touches the candy. Raise up the child being sure to always remind him of how evil he is and how wonderful you are for cutting off his hand in order to save him from choking to death on the dangerous candy. Make the child thank you profusely day and day out, and the moment he fails to do so, withhold his food and water and apply electroshock therapy. Do all of this via remote control and via notes which you write in Spanish to a bitter old woman in Russia who must then translate the notes into Russian and send them on to an overworked laborer in South Africa who must translate them into Afrikaans and send them on to a rich lady in France who must then translate them into Colonial French and then send them on to a Tibetan refugee in New York who must translate them into English and send them on to the child as the only communication he receives from you.

It’s an amazingly balanced and effective plan for success, and it’s so believable too!

8 03 2010
SuperJesus

…and He LOVES you!

9 03 2010
Tabbie

…in spite of my fatigue-induced typographical errors šŸ˜‰

Today I heard about the Catholic school in Boulder which has decided not to allow one of their preschoolers to come back and attend kindergarten next fall because the child’s parents are lesbians. Why two lesbians would ever want to send their child to Catholic school boggles my mind, but this Diocese’s decision shocks me nonetheless. Maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised. It makes about as much sense as the rest of Catholicism.

9 03 2010
SuperJesus

If only the lesbians had ordered some exotic “homo take-out” like they do in the Vatican that would have been just fine. I hear that’s all the rage out there.

10 03 2010
Tabbie

It’s called the milk and the meat of the word, LOL. I even Googled it.

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