World’s Shortest Books

17 12 2009

I don’t know if the people read their email messages before they forward it on to me, but every so often I get passed on a “funny” email that is especially conservatively partisan/racist.  For example I received one titled “The World’s Shortest Books” that contained these comedic gems:

NEGROS I’VE MET WHILE YACHTING By Tiger Woods

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY By Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan.
Illustrated by Michael Moore

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL By Hillary Clinton

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY By Bill Clinton

You get the idea.  I was sufficiently annoyed so I replied with my own list of World’s Shortest Books that were egregiously omitted from the original list.

HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL PRESIDENT (IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM)
By George W. Bush

HUNTING AND GUN SAFETY
By Dick Cheney

MILITARY PLANNING (AND HOW NOT TO CHERRY PICK INTELLIGENCE TO FIT YOUR PREDETERMINED NARRATIVE)
By Donald Rumsfeld

PRESERVING THE CONSTITUTION AND PERSONAL PRIVACY RIGHTS
By Alberto Gonzales

PUBLIC BATHROOM ETIQUETTE
By Larry Craig

HURRICANE RECOVERY AND DISASTER MANAGEMENT
By Micheal “Brownie” Brown

APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR AROUND CONGRESSIONAL PAGES (OR HOW NOT TO RAPE YOUNG BOYS)
By Mark Foley

FAMILY VALUES (OR HOW TO AVOID BEING CAUGHT WEARING DIAPERS WITH A D.C. MADAM)
By David Vitter

If you have any others I might have missed please feel free to add them to the list in the comments section.

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4 responses

17 12 2009
Barbara

Free Health Care for Dummies: Only Congress and Senate Need Apply, written and paid for by U.S. Citizens

Yeah, I’m bashing all of them. 😛

11 01 2010
Chris

An email with a republican slant that contains latent racism?
Unpossible!

12 06 2010
James

Just got this email the other day and decided I just had to share some more titles for those who graced me with such wonderful reading… My additions…

More World’s Shortest Books:

DRUGS I HAVEN’T DONE

By Rush Limbaugh

TELEPHONE ETIQUETTE

By Bill O’Reilly

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

By George W. Bush

HONORING WOUNDED WAR VETS

By John McCain

FAMILY VALUES (or THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE)

By Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, Newt Gingrich, Larry Craig, John McCain, Rudolph Giuliani, Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Barr, Bob Dole

ALL…CREATED EQUAL

By The Republican Party

13 06 2010
SuperJesus

Excellent! 🙂

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