After Sitting In Chair 8 Months Waiting For A Miracle, Man Not Waiting Anymore

12 12 2009

In South Carolina 550-pound Job Tillman snapped his ACL but couldn’t afford to go to the doctor, so this enormous man of faith did what any normal Glenn Beck fan would do.  He went back to his trailer, stripped naked, covered himself with a blanket, and sat down in his favorite recliner and prayed for God to fix his leg for him.

Yep.  He sat and read his Bible, and ate, and prayed, and posted sermons online, and ate some more, and shat all over himself. Exactly like his savior Glenn Beck does…except he did it for 8 months straight.

The pain eventually became unbearable so his wife called an ambulance.  When the authorities finally came to get him his now 800 pound sore covered feces pustule of a body had merged with his barcalounger and they had to saw the recliner apart (and cut a hole around the front door) to get him out.

Upon arriving at the hospital the doctors were of course surprised to find that Jesus had not gotten around to fixing his ACL.  In fact Christ apparently looked disapprovingly upon him abandoning his faith after only 8 months…so Jesus killed him in the hospital.

True story!

So you might be wondering what’s the moral here?  Surprisingly it is that the Republicans should see this story and realize that they have the most to gain from universal single payer health care reform.

  1. Because $300 could have saved this hard right faith based conservative Republican Sarah Palin vote for the next presidential election, and
  2. I’m guessing that the hospital spent more extracting him from his couch and trailer that it would have cost to fix his leg in the first place.

See, it makes perfect political AND financial sense.  I just don’t understand why the Republicans aren’t out in front of this issue.



3 responses

12 12 2009

I would have almost believed you made that up just to piss off some right wing nutz, but no…..
You always find a way to put a funny spin on stories like this. I just keep thinking, he lived with someone?, how bizarre.

26 01 2010

So random happenstance (God) legs Fatty McFatterson so he goes back to random happenstance (God) for help? That’s like owing the mafia money so you go and borrow more from the mafia to pay them off. Barcalounger merger/Cement shoes, po-taa-to/po-ta-to.

11 11 2014
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