If This Church Van Is a’Rockin…

15 05 2009

Most adults caught trying to lure a 7th grader into their van would be arrested as pedophiles, however if you live in Colorado Springs those creepy bastards are frequently also known as members of Cornerstone Baptist Church.

Yes, representatives of the Cornerstone Christian church have recently tried to lure seventh-graders at the nearby middle school into a church van.  Since these fuckwits have gotten into trouble in the past for baptizing children without parents’ permission one can only hope that’s what they had in mind.  I’m sure that’s a completely safe assumption since it has never been reported that churches have had any problems with other forms of child abuse.

Oh sure if anyone else tried to do this there would be at least criminal child abduction, abuse, and kidnapping charges filed in minutes…but since it’s the local church they received a very stern talking to from the school administrators…oh, and the kids were given a reminder to not talk to strangers or get into stranger’s vans.

Great.  Everyone feeling better yet?

Students at other nearby elementary schools have also been approached by church members, and church proselytizing has been escalating in recent weeks with church members coming on school property to preach the Bible or proselytizing from public sidewalks outside the school. Luckily for any concerned parents the school is taking the hard line of thinking about seeking a no-trespassing order if church members resume harassing children on school property.  Yeah, that almost sounds like the appropriate action.

Maybe the National Acadamies of Science truck should swing by and snag a few kids from the Cornerstone Sunday School and drive away for a few hours to serve cookies and milk and teach them an evolution 101 class.  I can’t see why the church should have a problem with that since they’re doing much the same thing…right?!



3 responses

18 05 2009

Just as police officers don’t get speeding tickets, church members don’t get charged with kidnapping.
It’s the same justification for both and besides, we have a precedent with the Bush administration: everyone knows they only have the public’s best interest in mind, so it’s okay to break the law.

19 05 2009
Seeing Eye Chick

I seem to recall a lawsuit not so long ago, wherein some churches were busted, luring children into baptisms with pizza parties.

Honestly I dont give a shit if they have wings and excrete rainbows, no adult or older teen who knows whats good for them tries to lure my kids anywhere. There is something I have learned many times over—Religion does not negate criminal tendencies nor does it prevent compulsive behaviors like sexual predation, murder, or emotional manipulation.

People who target the young for religious doctrination–esp under the circumstances described above are creeps, and they must know on some level that their message sucks, or they wouldnt be trying to target vulnerable populations with their emotionally manipulative ploys. Obviously they aren’t attractive families or adult members, so they go after people who lack the experience, the vocabulary, and the knowledge to know shit from shinola.

Yea, that’s not creepy at all.
{Note Sarcasm}

19 05 2009

re: Religion does not negate criminal tendencies nor does it prevent compulsive behaviors like sexual predation, murder, or emotional manipulation.

I would argue organized religion encourages those tendencies. Especially the emotional manipulation part.

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