He tried, yes he really really tried. Despite his best efforts he just wasn’t smart enough to grasp the simple evolutionary science of his high school biology class. The basic concept of natural selection was way too complicated, I mean that shit sounded like he might have to read or study or something. Kirk was way too cute to be wasting his time reading. Yet to get his acting career really going he desperately wanted to be looked at as an intellectual, you know, because actors are usually so smart!
“I know!” he whimpered, “I’ll call my self an Atheist, then people will automatically think I’m smart!” And it would have been the perfect plan if only Kirk had the vaguest idea that an Atheist generally understands the illogical suppositions of the superstitions he disregards.
Luckily for Kirk he found Christianity in the nick of time. This was all new and different. Heck, he didn’t even have to read the Bible if he didn’t want to because there were all sorts of people who would read it for him and tell him what it said! It even came prepackaged with all sorts of simple and easy to understand answers for all of life’s complicated questions, all with none of the messy questions/hypothesis/testing that the evidence based world requires.
Where did the world come from? God did it! Where did all the animals and mankind come from? God did it! Where did the all the bananas we see in the grocery store that were genetically modified through hundreds of years of selective breeding for consistent flavor, superior shelf life, and beautiful color come from? Um, well…God did that too!
See how easy it is!
And with everyone around you bleating the same answers you never have to feel exceptionally stupid again, because you appear to be exactly as stupid as everyone else! For Kirk, it was the perfect solution.
Best of all, with no real acting skills he can now play dress up with his other friends and there is a waiting flock of sheep waiting to watch his “intellectual” musings. I mean, sure, you’re not convincing anyone who doesn’t already believe the same thing you believe but we all understand that a guy has to make a living however he can. Good luck with selling those pamphlets Kirk.