Who Knew Republicans Were Such Fragile Little Flowers?

30 09 2008

To all the Republicans who promoted deregulation like it was straight from the mouth of the free market Christ himself, to the spineless conservative whores of corporate America who expect us to bail them out after the sun is blotted out by so many golden parachutes…FUCK YOU!  FUCK YOU AND THE IDIOT BASTARD PRESIDENT YOU CONTINUE TO SUPPORT!

Aw I’m sorry, did I frighten you with my mean words and capitalized letters?  That was completely unnecessary and mean spirited of me wasn’t it?  You poor sweet little things, look at you cry and cower from my mean mean words.  I’m a horrible person.  Even though you spend so much time talking tough about disregarding the Geneva Conventions and how we should torture people for information I forget sometimes that you are really craven spineless cowards.  I forget that while you’ll bravely send others to enforce the Bush Doctrine of preemptive military strikes against countries that have not attacked us, you will rarely fight the fight yourself.  I forget that you are raging lying hypocrites about preaching the virtues of the competitive free market where the strong survive and the weak will be vanquished.

I can’t help but sometimes forget that you’re just a bunch of frail little flowers.

It all makes sense then that you would feel so maligned and upset that a woman would point out that this debacle of historic proportions is largely your fault and that you’re a bunch of petty, intellectually pathetic,  corrupt infants prone to weeping at the very hint of slight.  Never mind that the very economy you have just gang raped is bleeding in the corner and dying while you point pathetically to your boo-boo and hurt feelings.

Grow up, take your punishment and fix what you’ve broken.  What Nancy dished out is nothing compared to what the rest of thinking America would like to see done to you.

Straight Talk Out Of His Ass Express

28 09 2008

26 seconds of palate cleansing bullshit.

You Do NOT Want To Fuck With The Letterman

26 09 2008

You know I thought the first night was pretty rough.

Well you know, that was just the beginning.  Dave pretty much dedicated the entire next night to the cause.

Here’s looking forward to tonight’s show.

Clusterfuck to the Poor House – Dive of Death

26 09 2008

Leave it to a faux-news comedy program to point out the truth better than any of the other media outlets. Big surprise here.

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You’re So Vain

26 09 2008
I kid...I am a kidder.

Even if we didn’t say anything, the rest of us already knew.

Your Urgent Help Needed!

25 09 2008

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of $800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully
Minister of Treasury Paulson

(credit to Angry Bear)

End The Republican Sexisim Against Sarah Palin!

24 09 2008

Republicans need to end their misogynistic protection of the frail little flower that is Sarah Palin.  She’s a big girl and if she’s tough enough to be VP she’s tough enough to face the press!  Let her handle the hard questions and let the world see exactly what John McCain did in both of his fleeting conversations with her before he heard the sweet voice of Jesus whisper in his ear “she’s the ONE!”

Truly Offensive Christian Music

24 09 2008

It’s like a 9/11 Al Qaeda attack on your sensibilities and senses.  Stuff like this gives this particular imitation deity a great big rubbery one.  To be fair the lyrics are subtle, but I think they’re suggesting someone is a friend of mine?  If only they could just repeat that important point thousands of times I might be able to retain it.  Alas, I may need to listen to it yet again to tease that detail out.

McCain’s Rape Based Economy

21 09 2008

What, is that somehow offensive?

The Moral Roots Of Liberals And Conservatives

20 09 2008

Jonathan Haidt speaks about how our liberal or conservative views are shaped by our degrees of adherence to the five different types of morals.  Fascinating research.
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