America Was Founded On Christianity Because John McCain Says So

9 06 2008

I had done some research used to think that the separation of church and state was not only intentional but one of the better attributes of this country. Heck, I even wrote a blog post on the topic. Alas, John McCain tells me that that isn’t so. Damn, I just can’t argue with John on this point.

I’m not saying he’s old enough to have been there at the birth of the nation. Of course not, that would be a silly thing to say. No, he’s old enough to have been there pouring beers when Democracy got Liberty all drunk at that party where he then invited his friends State, Freedom and Religion over to have the free for all orgy…which of course then resulted in the birth of this bastard nation a few months later.

He also remembers that the phrase “separation of Church and State” arose after Church proved to be an especially angry drunk and started getting a little too “preachy” for State. Democracy eventually had to separate them after Church “accidentally” spilled her beer on State. It was a little bit of a scene.

It’s also worth noting that John was there at the naming ceremony of this great nation and he remembers that the original name was supposed to be “The Jesus Christ Incorporated States For Wayward Religious Zealots And Stupid Fucking Neocons”, but then it was decided at the last minute that “United States of America” had a better ring to it. (Good call there)

Oh yeah, totally true story.

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5 responses

9 06 2008
E. I.

very funny. And totally true — I concur.

9 06 2008
Renee

This is his desperate attempt to cozy up to Pentecostals and Fundamentalists. Wuss.

9 06 2008
Barbara

I wonder if Huckabee is starting to write his material now…..*head shaking* šŸ˜›

13 06 2008
coffeestainednews

I mean seriously has McCain not read the US Constitution – First Amendment??

Seriously he and Bush need to quit hitting them coke lines – snort snort

14 06 2008
Chris

If I were a republican in 2000, I would vote for McCain.
2008, and McCain is just another right-wing lickspittle courting the ignorant christian vote. Such a shame.

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