Heterosexuality Questionnaire

6 03 2008

This questionnaire is for self-avowed heterosexuals only. If you are not openly heterosexual, pass it on to a friend who is. Please try to answer the questions as candidly as possible. Your responses will be held in strict confidence and you anonymity fully protected.

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?

4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

5. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

6. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?

7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

8. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they’d face?

9. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

10. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

11. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his learnings?

12. Heterosexuals are notorious for assigning themselves and one another rigid, stereotyped sex roles. Why must you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?

13. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?

14. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. After all, you never deliberately chose to be heterosexual, did you? Have you considered aversion therapy or Heterosexuals Anonymous?

*First seen by me at Inarticulate Fumblings who cannot establish original credit

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2 responses

7 03 2008
Scott Horn

“13. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?”

……….uh….., sorry, but, guys will be guys, no matter which way they swing. although, the majority of gays over 30-something are monogamous.

“10. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?”

…currently 3rd world countries are growing in population, and western countries are in decline. Altogether, they say world population will altogether start to decline around 2075 after a peak of about 11 billion.

“4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?”

….since 1/2 of all schizophrenics are homosexual, some people often attribute schizophrenia as part of the cause in this case. This is apparrently not correct, and the explanation makes your head hurt. Don’t know enough about this to comment further, just came to my mind when reading here.

“9. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?”

…actually, the divorce rate is going down; some say because marriage rates are going down.

7 03 2008
Scott Horn

I misspoke back there—-actually SOME 3rd world countries (rapidly becoming “2nd world”) are increasing, i.e., S. America, the Mid-East, China, India, etc. Obviously Africa is probably in decline

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