A Christmas Sermon

21 12 2008

“The good part of Christmas is not always Christian–it is generally Pagan; that is to say, human, natural.

Christianity did not come with tidings of great joy, but with a message of eternal grief. It came with the threat of everlasting torture on its lips. It meant war on earth and perdition hereafter.

It taught some good things–the beauty of love and kindness in man. But as a torch-bearer, as a bringer of joy, it has been a failure. It has given infinite consequences to the acts of finite beings, crushing the soul with a responsibility too great for mortals to bear. It has filled the future with fear and flame, and made God the keeper of an eternal penitentiary, destined to be the home of nearly all the sons of men. Not satisfied with that, it has deprived God of the pardoning power.

And yet it may have done some good by borrowing from the Pagan world the old festival called Christmas.

Long before Christ was born the Sun-God triumphed over the powers of Darkness. About the time that we call Christmas the days begin perceptibly to lengthen. Our barbarian ancestors were worshippers of the sun, and they celebrated his victory over the hosts of night. Such a festival was natural and beautiful. The most natural of all religions is the worship of the sun. Christianity adopted this festival. It borrowed from the Pagans the best it has.”

…Christmas is a good day to forgive and forget–a good day to throw away prejudices and hatreds–a good day to fill your heart and your house, and the hearts and houses of others, with sunshine.”

Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1899), “A Christmas Sermon,” Evening Telegram, Dec. 19, 1891





War On Christmas? Whatever.

18 12 2008

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech”

Right.  So when there is a religious display in a state building they must allow others with different religious ideas to have a display too.  That’s not so tough is it?

If you don’t want another viewpoint next to your manger scene then put it up in front of your church and not on government property!  If you insist on installing depictions of your fairy tales on public property then expect to have it mocked by everyone who doesn’t believe your particular flavor of crazy.

How tedious.  It’s not a war on Christmas, it’s a war on ignorant people who don’t remember that the very first sentence of the Bill of Rights explains quite clearly that the USA is NOT a Christian nation.

Yes you festering Fox news Massengill dumpsters, I’m talking to you.





A Movie The Religious Will Cower From

7 06 2008

However if the religious out there do accidentally see it (funny, I thought this was the theater for Narnia) there will be a lot of people saying “Well my religion makes perfect sense  …but boy all those OTHER religions sure are silly.”

Um, right.





The End of the World Cometh!

7 06 2008

Heads up all you evangelicals, he very well could be right and this could be the BIG one. If he’s right and you don’t convert soon you will get left behind and suffer the consequences! REPENT NAOW!!!!

Yeah, that pitch sounds a little silly to you coming from the other direction doesn’t it? Welcome to my world.





Today’s Irreconcilable Religious Factoid: Noah and the Flood

6 06 2008

Today I ask the faithful the question:

“Do you believe the story of Noah and the flood? Why or why not?”

Sounds simple enough, but I imagine there is a broad spectrum of opinions on this well known story.  Not to ruin the surprise but I think the story is completely ridiculous.  I know, you’re shocked to hear that.  But I’ve heard young earthers talk about the flood in the context of ridding the earth of dinosaurs and creating the Grand Canyon.  Hell, there’s a whole section of the creationist museum in Cincinnati devoted to convincing people that the Noah story is true.

So c’mon people, what am I missing here?  Convince me God pulled off this amazing story…or are you just going to wuss out and tell me this is yet another example of the Bible teaching in parables?

Evangelically yours (in a completely heterosexual way),

Super J.





Why Don’t Atheists Take Christians Seriously?

2 06 2008

The only way this could be any creepier is if this guy was wearing a clown costume. Stick with it at least to the one minute mark…I dare you.

Thanks (I think) to Jeff for sharing this.





Miracle Image Of Christ’s Face Found!

25 05 2008

Some think an adjacent image resembles Ben Stein. You be the judge.

I’d try to write something else funny but I’m sure it would just come across as corny.





Today’s Irreconcilable Religious Factoid: Evil

23 05 2008

This might turn into a new series of questions and maybe the faithful out there will bring some answers to the table. To begin this series then I didn’t want to throw out some recent or obscure scientific question that nobody has researched. No, to be fair I thought I’d give them an easy question that’s been around for a while. Something they should have had time to work out by now.

Today I ask the faithful the question, why is there evil in the world? Of course the Greek philosopher Epicurus asked this question over two thousand years ago:

“If God is willing to prevent evil, but not able…then He is impotent.

If He is able, but not willing…then He is malevolent.

If He is both able and willing…then whence cometh evil?”

Two thousand years is a long time and yet I have yet to hear a good answer to such a basic question. I do hope someone out there can clear this up for me once and for all.

Evangelically yours (in a completely heterosexual way),

Super J.





Einstein Considered Religion “Childish Superstition”

13 05 2008

There has been a long standing debate about Einstein’s views on Religion. The devout will rightly point to quotes from Einstein saying “Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind” or even his dismissal of the randomness of Quantum theory stating “He [God] does not throw dice”. To the less theistic these quotes always seemed to be flamboyantly hollow rhetorical devices used by the great thinker.

Now there is proof that our suspicions were correct.

The philosopher Eric Gutkind sent Einstein a copy of his new book Choose Life: The Biblical Call to Revolt. Einstein sat down and on January 3 1954 penned a reply stating:

“The word god is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honorable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change this.”

“For me the Jewish religion like all others is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions. And the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong and with whose mentality I have a deep affinity have no different quality for me than all other people. As far as my experience goes, they are no better than other human groups, although they are protected from the worst cancers by a lack of power. Otherwise I cannot see anything ‘chosen’ about them.”

Perhaps science isn’t so lame without religion after all.

The handwritten letter will go on sale at Bloomsbury Auctions in London later this week and is expected to fetch up to $16,000.

(source: The Guardian)





Christian Math (3×1=1)

13 05 2008

Christ, according to the faith, is the second person in the Trinity, the Father being the first and the Holy Ghost the third. Each of these persons is God. Christ is his own father and his own son. The Holy Ghost is neither father nor son, but both. The son was begotten by the father, but existed before he was begotten–just the same before as after. . . .

So, it is declared that the Father is God, and the Son God, and the Holy Ghost God, and that these three Gods make one God.

According to the celestial multiplication table, once one is three, and three times one is one, and according to heavenly subtraction, if we take two from three, three are left. The addition is equally peculiar, if we add two to one, we have but one. . . .

Nothing ever was, nothing ever can be more perfectly idiotic and absurd than the dogma of the Trinity.

– Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1899), “The Trinity” (from “The Foundations of Faith,” The Works of Ingersoll).

No wonder Christians believe in intelligent design, if you can be convinced that this absurd idea is true then ID will sound absolutely inspired.








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