A Christmas Sermon

21 12 2008

“The good part of Christmas is not always Christian–it is generally Pagan; that is to say, human, natural.

Christianity did not come with tidings of great joy, but with a message of eternal grief. It came with the threat of everlasting torture on its lips. It meant war on earth and perdition hereafter.

It taught some good things–the beauty of love and kindness in man. But as a torch-bearer, as a bringer of joy, it has been a failure. It has given infinite consequences to the acts of finite beings, crushing the soul with a responsibility too great for mortals to bear. It has filled the future with fear and flame, and made God the keeper of an eternal penitentiary, destined to be the home of nearly all the sons of men. Not satisfied with that, it has deprived God of the pardoning power.

And yet it may have done some good by borrowing from the Pagan world the old festival called Christmas.

Long before Christ was born the Sun-God triumphed over the powers of Darkness. About the time that we call Christmas the days begin perceptibly to lengthen. Our barbarian ancestors were worshippers of the sun, and they celebrated his victory over the hosts of night. Such a festival was natural and beautiful. The most natural of all religions is the worship of the sun. Christianity adopted this festival. It borrowed from the Pagans the best it has.”

…Christmas is a good day to forgive and forget–a good day to throw away prejudices and hatreds–a good day to fill your heart and your house, and the hearts and houses of others, with sunshine.”

Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1899), “A Christmas Sermon,” Evening Telegram, Dec. 19, 1891





War On Christmas? Whatever.

18 12 2008

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech”

Right.  So when there is a religious display in a state building they must allow others with different religious ideas to have a display too.  That’s not so tough is it?

If you don’t want another viewpoint next to your manger scene then put it up in front of your church and not on government property!  If you insist on installing depictions of your fairy tales on public property then expect to have it mocked by everyone who doesn’t believe your particular flavor of crazy.

How tedious.  It’s not a war on Christmas, it’s a war on ignorant people who don’t remember that the very first sentence of the Bill of Rights explains quite clearly that the USA is NOT a Christian nation.

Yes you festering Fox news Massengill dumpsters, I’m talking to you.





A Movie The Religious Will Cower From

7 06 2008

However if the religious out there do accidentally see it (funny, I thought this was the theater for Narnia) there will be a lot of people saying “Well my religion makes perfect sense  …but boy all those OTHER religions sure are silly.”

Um, right.





The End of the World Cometh!

7 06 2008

Heads up all you evangelicals, he very well could be right and this could be the BIG one. If he’s right and you don’t convert soon you will get left behind and suffer the consequences! REPENT NAOW!!!!

Yeah, that pitch sounds a little silly to you coming from the other direction doesn’t it? Welcome to my world.





Today’s Irreconcilable Religious Factoid: Noah and the Flood

6 06 2008

Today I ask the faithful the question:

“Do you believe the story of Noah and the flood? Why or why not?”

Sounds simple enough, but I imagine there is a broad spectrum of opinions on this well known story.  Not to ruin the surprise but I think the story is completely ridiculous.  I know, you’re shocked to hear that.  But I’ve heard young earthers talk about the flood in the context of ridding the earth of dinosaurs and creating the Grand Canyon.  Hell, there’s a whole section of the creationist museum in Cincinnati devoted to convincing people that the Noah story is true.

So c’mon people, what am I missing here?  Convince me God pulled off this amazing story…or are you just going to wuss out and tell me this is yet another example of the Bible teaching in parables?

Evangelically yours (in a completely heterosexual way),

Super J.





Why Don’t Atheists Take Christians Seriously?

2 06 2008

The only way this could be any creepier is if this guy was wearing a clown costume. Stick with it at least to the one minute mark…I dare you.

Thanks (I think) to Jeff for sharing this.





Miracle Image Of Christ’s Face Found!

25 05 2008

Some think an adjacent image resembles Ben Stein. You be the judge.

I’d try to write something else funny but I’m sure it would just come across as corny.








Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.