Republican Douchebags “Protecting” Marriage Again

Remind me again why it is that marriage only needs protecting from the gays around election season?  Oh that’s right, it’s because Republicans have no positive accomplishments to point to so they once again drag out the old dead horse that is the gay marriage ban to get the conservative bigot vote out to the polls.  Like clockwork, but much more cynical…and more gay.

Most of the ten sponsors are pretty predictable but there are two Senators that ooze especially pungent hypocrisy for sponsoring such an amendment: Sens. David Vitter (R-La.) and Larry Craig (R-Idaho).

Jesus’ General made some fantastic ads to help the Republicans promote the effort.

Evangelically yours (in a completely heterosexual way),

Super J.

McCain Busts A Policy Move

Because nothing says presidential like snarling vogue standing.

You F’ing Know This Is True

Damn right bitches!  That and the world is only 6,000 years old.

(Credit to Derek Chatwood who created the original artwork.  Brilliant stuff)

Fuck, George Carlin is Dead

I was surprised to see the AP has a sense of humor when they posted the notice of George Carlin’s death.

Shit, George Carlin, the motherfucking Grammy-Award winning standup comedian and actor who was hailed for his irreverent social commentary, poignant observations of the absurdities of everyday life, tits, and language, and piss funny groundbreaking routines like “Seven Words You Can Never Use on Television,” died in Los Angeles on Sunday according to his cunt publicist Jeff Abraham. Fuck, that cocksucker was 71.

Brilliant satirist and fanatical defender of free speech. George, you and your honesty will be sorely missed.

John McCain Family Values: My Wife Is A C*nt

I had heard about this already, but this puts a pretty good spin on it.

There is a non-bleeped version but frankly it seems funnier to me like this.

America Was Founded On Christianity Because John McCain Says So

I had done some research used to think that the separation of church and state was not only intentional but one of the better attributes of this country. Heck, I even wrote a blog post on the topic. Alas, John McCain tells me that that isn’t so. Damn, I just can’t argue with John on this point.

I’m not saying he’s old enough to have been there at the birth of the nation. Of course not, that would be a silly thing to say. No, he’s old enough to have been there pouring beers when Democracy got Liberty all drunk at that party where he then invited his friends State, Freedom and Religion over to have the free for all orgy…which of course then resulted in the birth of this bastard nation a few months later.

He also remembers that the phrase “separation of Church and State” arose after Church proved to be an especially angry drunk and started getting a little too “preachy” for State. Democracy eventually had to separate them after Church “accidentally” spilled her beer on State. It was a little bit of a scene.

It’s also worth noting that John was there at the naming ceremony of this great nation and he remembers that the original name was supposed to be “The Jesus Christ Incorporated States For Wayward Religious Zealots And Stupid Fucking Neocons”, but then it was decided at the last minute that “United States of America” had a better ring to it. (Good call there)

Oh yeah, totally true story.

A Movie The Religious Will Cower From

However if the religious out there do accidentally see it (funny, I thought this was the theater for Narnia) there will be a lot of people saying “Well my religion makes perfect sense  …but boy all those OTHER religions sure are silly.”

Um, right.

Today’s Irreconcilable Religious Factoid: Noah and the Flood

Today I ask the faithful the question:

“Do you believe the story of Noah and the flood? Why or why not?”

Sounds simple enough, but I imagine there is a broad spectrum of opinions on this well known story.  Not to ruin the surprise but I think the story is completely ridiculous.  I know, you’re shocked to hear that.  But I’ve heard young earthers talk about the flood in the context of ridding the earth of dinosaurs and creating the Grand Canyon.  Hell, there’s a whole section of the creationist museum in Cincinnati devoted to convincing people that the Noah story is true.

So c’mon people, what am I missing here?  Convince me God pulled off this amazing story…or are you just going to wuss out and tell me this is yet another example of the Bible teaching in parables?

Evangelically yours (in a completely heterosexual way),

Super J.

Why Don’t Atheists Take Christians Seriously?

The only way this could be any creepier is if this guy was wearing a clown costume. Stick with it at least to the one minute mark…I dare you.

Thanks (I think) to Jeff for sharing this.

Miracle Image Of Christ’s Face Found!

Some think an adjacent image resembles Ben Stein. You be the judge.

I’d try to write something else funny but I’m sure it would just come across as corny.